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I got this one from my friend @Shannon

There is strength in asking for help. Tell me, friends, is that as hard for you as it was for me to ask for help? It took me about a decade or so, but I’m better at it now.

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A friend once told me, “The word ‘should’ is the most violent word in the English language.” I have no idea who said this first, and my google searching didn’t turn up anything concrete.

But I think about that often as someone whose brain loves to feel guilty and function off of ‘should’s.’ Because the word ‘should’ is so often associated with doing things that overstep my own boundaries. And if we consider emotional health to be grounded in compassionate consideration of one’s own boundaries, and emotional health to be deeply intertwined with physical health, then leading life with the word ‘should’ is harmful to your health! So, shrug off those ‘shoulds,’ and respectfully say no to something today :slight_smile:

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“i fell apart many times.
so.
what does that say about me
besides
i live through
wars.”
Nayyirah Waheed

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“you will find your way
it is
in the
same place
as
your love.
– seek”
Nayyirah Waheed

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There is this quote by Sharon Salzberg I come back to again and again and again: “The healing is in the return, not in never having wandered to begin with.” It has been such a powerful reminder throughout my healing journey.

Captura de Pantalla 2022-04-26 a la(s) 13.26.33

She talks about it a bit more in a wonderful conversation with Krista Tippet in the podcast On Being: Sharon Salzberg — The Healing Is In The Return | The On Being Project

"I think it’s powerful because I actually think it’s true. When I started meditation, like most of us, I had a different idea of success and what it would look like and that it would be very much about accumulation, like if I could be with two breaths in the beginning, without my mind wandering, then surely, by today, I should be with eight. And then, tomorrow, I should be with 15. And then, eventually, my mind won’t wander. And I found that the most unbelievable thing — that that wasn’t the point, that learning how to let go more gracefully was the point. Learning how to start over with some compassion for yourself, instead of judging yourself so harshly — that was the point. And it’s so funny, because really, it was like Lesson 101, for me, and it’s […] the most precious thing. I use it every day. It’s still the most significant thing I’ve ever learned from meditation and that I use it every single day, because we do. We have to start over and do a course correction, or pick ourselves up if we’ve fallen down, every day.
[…] And I think it gives us the basis for trying to change the circumstance, but from a different place — not because we feel defective or deficient or desperate — that’s a lot of “d” words — but because we have that sense of compassion for ourselves and compassion for others, and we can move forward toward something, even without necessarily an immediate result.

And I think if we can have that basis of recognition — OK, this is the way things are right now, and I can see them; I don’t have to be afraid of what I’m facing; I can see them for what they are — then we can move forward in a different way."

My husband helps me catch the phrase “I should” and all its related forms such as “it would be better if I” and “I ought to”. Although I’m better, I still say it sometimes. That inner parent voice of mine is such a buzz kill sometimes.

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Love it. So is mine. Total downer.

I just think of my family :slight_smile:

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Ooooh - that’s such a good one.

attitude2
This seems fitting for this group.

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Because no matter how bad it is, underneath the pain you are still you and the pain can move on just like a storm.

Another favorite of mine is “You are the sky, everything else is just weather.” - Pema Chödrön

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Haha, love it! Perfect for this.

This from Rob Brezsny’s Freewill Astrology Newsletter, inpsired me today:
To create a pearl, an oyster needs an aggravating parasite inside its shell. It builds layers of calcium carbonate around the invader, gradually fabricating the treasure.

How long does it take from the initial provocation to the finished product? Five years for a pearl of average size, and as many as 10 years for a big one.

Our question for you: How many years have you been engaged in the process of transforming your irritant into a masterpiece? How many more years do you think you still have to go?

@woundedhealer I love Nayyirah Waheed :slight_smile:

Thank you for sharing. I so relate, sometimes feels like it never wants to leave and is at constant war with me

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I love the one about being imperfect. That is so so my mantra.

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