Struggling and not very good at reaching out/ even after the beginning of healing journey that began in Aug. 2017

:frowning_face: :expressionless: :face_with_spiral_eyes: :cry:So… here I go:: I did just post something, but I don’t know :woman_shrugging: where it ended up(?). I had great fun w/ @ SarahZ doing my story !

Since then, I had one bad flare in my right foot :foot:, where my complex regional pain syndrome manifests itself from. However, the last few weeks have been worse than I could have even imagined. And I do tend to hide my emotional & physical pain.

My emotional pain journey began August 2017. It was a long time coming. After climbing out of that rabbit hole I swore to myself I’d never be able to do it again ~ yes, it’s been that difficult. I know I cannot do it again:: it was that intense.

So, fast forward to 2020. Another unlucky diagnosis: CRPS. Which has lead me down the nasty chronic pain road. Luckily, I discovered Lin Health. My success story was published… I hope you all enjoyed it !

Lately, my chronic pain has been intense & in places where I’d expect it & many places I wouldn’t. I was extremely athletic growing up… pain wasn’t a big issue. Unfortunately now it is. I don’t even sleep between my sheets as it’s too painful if & when I get tangled up in them.

Lately my chronic pain has really been affecting me emotionally/// how can it not ??? But that’s a very fine line I walk…probably due to a diagnosis ( non- physical pain related)… back from 2017.

Last night was by far the worst pain wise. On top of this, I headed downstairs to my music studio this am as I had a new guitar to unpack.
It had to acclimate to the temperature & humidity levels in my studio for at least 24 hours even before removing it from its boxes. I checked the guitar over very thoroughly. Then attempted to tune it:: which is normal procedure. Well, the 1st string to tune is high “ E” string and I began my “ work”. Then I could feel & hear the inevitable outcome… yes, it snapped. Not usually a big deal… as I change my own strings/ but NOT ON A BRAND NEW GUITAR. That was enough for me to say “ that’s it, I am unable to continue.” My mood, which wasn’t great( ha) due to my pain had just been made worse with this turn of events.

I can usually distract myself fairly easily:: but not today. I’m feeling like that rabbit hole is calling my name… but if I get sucked into it:: I’ll never work my way out like I would need to. History repeats itself in some things but not when it comes to such a rabbit hole.

Sorry this isn’t positive:: I’m just in a downward spiral…and it’s my EVERY NIGHTMARE.
Judolc/ Jodi